The Anti-Reunion

"Someone who misses their childhood never really had one"

I enjoy the new trend of social networking sites for all of the fun and communication they offer but the sad truth is that they have also stolen our pasts. I envy when I used to be able to think, "I wonder whatever happened to my first boyfriend?".  Well, I know EXACTLY what happened to him including who he married, what his kids look like, where he works, what city he lives in and his entire network of friends.  What do I do with this information?! And how do I muster up the discipline to stop looking up the details from the ghosts of my past? 

This past weekend I decided to embrace this usage of technology and bring together those that I went to high school with for a "happy hour". I was certain that everyone would come and have one drink out of obligation and then bolt. To my unbelievable surprise, we partied long into the night and there was no sense of obligation at all. I am not sure what people hope to gain when meeting up with  friends that have become strangers.  It's a surreal experience.

To see people who knew you in your youth and who have witnessed the passage of extreme vulnerable stages of your life as it went by.  I guess it's like war friends. You just sorta sit around and drink beer and think to yourselves...."Wow, we survived that!" It was said in jest, but it was no laughing matter when we let the reality sink in that there were many who couldn't be there because they didn't thrive on the journey from adolescence to adulthood.  These persons I refer to are now addicts, sex offenders,  alcoholics or in  jail.  (Sadly, one of my own family members can be counted as one of them).  

I don't know if I learned anything new by seeing people from my past. However,  I do know that when you  revisit the good times from your youth, it inevitably stirs up some of the dark times too.  I quit a friendship with my best friend when I was 17 years old that started a life long pattern of me doing this to others.  It was very dramatic and ironically, we had our final goodbye on a stage.  It was no coincidence that my desire to end close friendships started closely after my own family was torn apart. And I got good at leaving friends when they needed me most.

But seeing old faces makes you realize how far you've come and who helped you to get there. For this reason, I recommend an anti-reunion to anyone who is brave enough to sit at a table with strangers that were once friends....and hell, could perhaps be again?